Gore’s Presidency: A Retrospective

Let’s keep this presidential train rolling with some juicy fan fiction.  Five writers for New York Magazine take turns wrapping 2-year ribbons around the maypole, imagining what it would’ve been like if Gore had won in 2000 and 2004.

Two of the contributors weren’t great. Glenn Beck (yes, that Glenn Beck) fails at humor/imagination/writing while Walter Kirn’s kumbaya years are pretty unbelievable. It’s a fun read though, assuming you’ve got the time and interest.

A particularly solid passage from Kevin Baker:

Well, tough titty, the president thought as he strode to the helicopter. Some people were going to have to get used to the idea that life in the new millennium wasn’t about tearing the tops off mountains just so you could grub some more lung polish. Besides, hadn’t he given the locals the Robert C. Byrd Clean Coal Research Institute as part of his omnibus energy package? Clean coal—riiight.

Meanwhile, his relocation had become the biggest jobs program West Virginia had ever seen. It was the logical choice, once Flight 93 had demolished the White House. All they’d had to do was spruce up the Bunker under the Greenbrier in White Sulphur Springs, built there for Congress back in the Cold War days. The Secret Service loved it. Everything you could ask, all behind twenty-ton blast doors: dormitories, cafeterias, a state-of-the-art communications system, even a weight room. Everything, that is, except for the Congress. Capitol Hill was untouched; no need for them to come. He had the run of the place, and could call in anyone he wanted, whenever he wanted. Amtrak was running twenty trains a day in from D.C., and the town had doubled in size from all the media crews alone. He and Tipper took the presidential suite upstairs in the Greenbrier. They stuck Hadassah and Joe Leave-Me-Alone down in the Bunker itself, where he could keep an eye on them.

Coulda been a mistake, the president thought, frowning. Maybe that’s when he started to go all squirrelly on me—

He paused on the top step of the chopper, sucking in the sweet Allegheny air. God, it was intoxicating! Air like that, well, it gave a man an appetite. He smiled as he thought of Tipper, left back in the presidential bedroom just now in a state of flattering befuddlement.

Gave him other appetites as well, as the press had begun to notice. He looked over at the trim stomach of his body double. Would that guy have to start eating more, too? Maybe growing a beard would help …

[New York Magazine via the Browser]

January 19, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Smarts. Leave a comment.

Saying “Bunghole” Is Presidential

Put This On has already unpacked this video so well that I won’t even try:

In 1964, Lyndon Johnson needed pants, so he called the Haggar clothing company and asked for some. The call was recorded (like all White House calls at the time), and has since become the stuff of legend. Johnson’s anatomically specific directions to Mr. Haggar are some of the most intimate words we’ve ever heard from the mouth of a President.

January 18, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Video. Leave a comment.

The History of American Political Opinion

Seems like a good time to post this.

From the video’s creator:

Using county-level data, I spatially and temporally interpolated presidential vote returns for the two major party candidates in each election from 1920-2008. The result illuminates the sometimes gradual, sometimes rapid change in the geographic basis of presidential partisanship.

[via Morgan Clendaniel @ GOOD]

January 14, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Video. Leave a comment.

Christmas Comic

This explains a lot.

[via Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]

December 25, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . Comics. Leave a comment.

F___ You if You Don’t Like Christmas

[Drew Toothpaste via Rats Off!]

It’s always OK to dance.

[via Julia Segal]

December 3, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Video. 1 comment.

Post-Election Comic

[via Left-Handed Toons]

November 8, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Comics. Leave a comment.

I Was a Sneaky Kid

[Mistake Report #51802 via Dude Craft]

November 6, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Funny. Leave a comment.

Bicycle Reclamation of City Space

“Part design solution, part political statement, the concept was a finalist at the IIDA 2010 global design competition and aptly reflects this year’s competition theme of “Green Heart” – a call for using design as a marriage of sustainability and civic joy.”

[via Maria Popova @ Big Think]

October 18, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . Art. Leave a comment.

The Tea Party Takes Over The Tea Party

[via Ruben Bolling @ Boing Boing]

October 15, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Comics. Leave a comment.

Do Your Part, Citizen!

[via Fake Science]

October 8, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Comics. Leave a comment.

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